Just about every family law attorney can share a similar rendition of an office consultation. It doesn’t matter if the parents were ever married. More often than not, it’s the mother who asserts her position. She’s decided that she doesn’t want child support from the baby’s father. As far as she’s concerned, that means the dad won’t have visitation rights.
Meanwhile, it works both ways. For example, maybe the judge awarded the father custody of the minor children. Although the dad is financially more secure, the court orders the mother to make nominal weekly child support payments. The divorce decree sets regular parenting time for the mom to interact with the couple’s children.
As this story continues, the mother gets behind on her support payments. In fact, she’s more than a month in arrears. Nevertheless, Mom shows up for the scheduled visits each and every week. The father is exacerbated and makes sure to let his ex-wife know his feelings. As the second month of non-payment starts, Dad takes it upon himself to withhold visitation. After all, why should Mom spend time with the children unless she makes her support payments on time?
The bottom line is that both schools of thought are wrong. Children are entitled to support from both parents. Furthermore, they should also be allowed to a relationship with both of them. To take it a step further, neither a mother or father can make decisions on child support and visitation. Family courts determinations are based on the best interests of the children.
Visitation: NJ Parenting Time
In the first place, it’s important to note that New Jersey uses the term parenting time as a catch-all phrase for visitation. The courts have put together a detailed handbook on the issue of both custody and parenting tie. Although the parents may come up with an acceptable arrangement between themselves, it is up to a judge to approve their plan. This is done by court order, whether it is part of a divorce proceeding or pertains to unmarried parents.
Notably, NJS 2C:13-4 addresses the issue of interfering with custody or parenting time. Criminal charges can be filed for denying access or failing to return a child for court-ordered custody or parenting time. (Meanwhile, the parent can defend his or her actions if there is sufficient evidence demonstrating that the child might be in jeopardy. However, there are procedures associated with this claim that will be addressed in a future article.)
A review of the statute shows the absence of any language regarding child support payments. Nowhere does it say that failure to pay should interfere with the parental relationship. Instead, it’s up to parties to return to court for judicial intervention to enforce the child support order.
What if You Forego Child Support?
In most cases, it is the mother who readily knows that her DNA matches the child. After all, she is most often the one who bears the child, although there are exceptions in the case of adoption or surrogacy. All things considered, there are times that fathers are not even aware they may have parenting rights.
For starters, let’s evaluate particular situations. Are rape victims entitled to child support from their abusers? A news article provides some insight into a proposed bill that would deny convicted sex offenders with custody rights. Meanwhile, the same issues may come up with incest victims. But, how does this all apply when the victims really need child support for their children?
More often than not, these scenarios are the exception, rather than the norm. A woman could become pregnant from a one night stand. Meanwhile, she might have a long time relationship with someone who has no interest in a parental relationship. Furthermore, it might seem like protection against possible physical harm or exposure to substance abuse just aren’t worth the price.
Notwithstanding, there’s also the issue of vengeance. Unfortunately, children can be used as tools. Either parent could decide to forgo child support payments thinking it will mean denying a parental relationship.
Once again, the courts may think differently. And, in some cases, it’s worth consideration. What would be a reason to sacrifice financial security for your child? What happens if you pass? Of course, that also includes the logic in attempting to disallow parental contact. The best interests of your child should not be just a judicial consideration. They bear addressing by all parties.
Contact Us
Confused about child support, custody, and/or parenting time? At the Law Offices of Sam Stoia, we will not only explain how the system works. We will also advocate on your behalf. Contact us to schedule a complimentary appointment to discuss your situation.