There are plenty of reasons people put off seeing a divorce attorney. One may be that they are not up for the anticipated fight. Or, the onslaught of protracted hearings and exorbitant legal fees. Could divorce mediation alleviate some of those concerns?
It did for Phyllis and Manny Conforti, an Essex County couple. They have given us permission to share their story, with the caveat that we use a pseudonym for their names. The couple have been married for seven years. They have two young children and a beautiful home in the suburbs.
When Phyllis and Manny decided to split, they sat down and discussed their intentions. They realized they were able to do so in a non-adversarial way. For a short time, they even thought of filing the paperwork for their divorce on their own. However, it didn’t seem smart. It seemed wiser to seek legal representation.
The couple then considered retaining one lawyer to handle both their cases. They were advised that it would be unethical and that they required separate divorce attorneys. It was during the initial visit that the idea of divorce mediation was mentioned. Ultimately, Phyllis and Manny hired separate lawyers and went through the mediation process. It was the perfect way to handle a difficult situation without acrimony.
Understanding Divorce Mediation
We’ve told you that divorce mediation worked for the Confortis, but have not explained how or why. Many people find that mediation gives them a larger voice as they end their marriage. They find that divorce mediation affords them the opportunity to talk about issues with children and assets. Here are some other points of interest:
- Mediation offers the party some control in the process: No one understands the couple’s circumstances better than they do. Mediation gives the parties a chance to sit down and discuss crucial issues with a non-biased third person overseeing the process.
- What are the benefits of mediation? We’ve already mentioned a major benefit. The fact that the parties are participants in their dissolution is important. There’s also the cost factor. It is generally less expensive to mediate a case rather than litigate one.
- Who are the mediators? Some divorce mediators may be attorneys. However, other professionals have been authorized by the court to mediate family law matters.
- Each party has their own attorney with them during the mediation proceedings: Although divorce mediation is considered non-adversarial, it isn’t something to go at alone. It is important to have an experienced family law attorney with you to ensure your interests are protected.
- Matters that are discussed in Divorce Mediation: Anything that would be part of the divorce is discussed in the mediation meeting. This includes equitable distribution, child custody and child support and spousal support. Parenting plans and alimony are also considered. Issues concerning retirement funds and taxes are also reviewed. The purpose of the meeting is to come to an agreement without the necessity for judicial intervention.
- What Happens After the Mediation? If the parties have come to an understanding, a document will come out of the proceeding known as a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). Legal counsel will use the document to draft the appropriate agreement for submittal to the court.
- Do You Still Have to Appear in Court? It is still necessary to appear in court for the final resolution of divorce. However, the purpose is to confirm that you have no issues with the signed agreement.
Contact Us
At the Law Offices of Sam Stoia, we recognize the integral role that mediation plays in the divorce process. In fact, Sam is a certified divorce mediator. If you are faced with any type of family law issue, contact our office. There is no cost for the initial consultation.