What happens when two dads and mommy make three parents? In today’s society, it is entirely conceivable that two men may father a child. Notwithstanding, the biological mother may also wish to retain a maternal role in her offspring’s life. What happens if the three cannot come to terms regarding parenting agreements?
A Very Real Story
This is a very real story. A recent Ocean County trial court decision tells the tale of three friends involved in parenting the same child. Names in this case has been changed to initials for purposes of anonymity. In D.G. and S.H. v. K.S, ___NJ Super____(2016) , D.G. and S.H. are same sex spouses. D.G. and K.S. are the biological parents of O.S.H.., a female child born in 2009. S.H. has strongly bonded with O.S.H. and considers himself to be OSH’s father.
How it Began
D.G., S.H. and K.S. carefully planned their decision to have a baby together. The court’s decision indicates that the three believed they were engaging in an “unprecedented paradigm that they coined a “tri-parenting relationship.”. Since D.G. and K.S. were old friends, it was agreed that D.G.’s sperm would be used to impregnate K.S. The child’s surname came from S.H.’s last name. O.S.H. was conceived by using a version of a home artificial insemination kit.
In the beginning, all seemed well with the new parenting arrangement. The three began to receive national attention. Their story appeared in a well-known magazine, and was also featured on television. As parents, they all offered something special to their child. Initially, there was no written agreement regarding their role as parents. It did not seem necessary, and therefore, was not addressed.
The Parenting Arrangement Goes to Court
All was well until K.S. decided she wanted to move across the country and take O.S.H with her. It was the end of 2013 and D.G. and S.H. requested a proposed parenting schedule. By 2014, the couple decided it was necessary to seek judicial intervention. They did not agree with K.S.’s proposal and were concerned when K.S. took O.S.H. to California without their consent. They needed the court to determine:
- Was S.H. considered a legal or psychological parent?
- What were the “best interests” of O.S.H.?
- Could K.S. relocate with O.S.H. to California?
- How would residential and legal custody be determined?
- What about parenting time?
- How would child support arrangements be calculated?
How the Court Ruled
The determination granting relocation is always made in consideration of the child’s best interests. The court evaluated the parties and expert opinion and denied K.S.’s request to move the child to California.
The judge also ruled on S.H.’s role of a parent. Since he was not genetically related to O.S.H., or an adoptive parent, he could not be considered a legal father. However, the court did find him to be a psychological parent.
The ruling also concluded that residential and legal custody would be split between the biological parents. Child support arrangements and parenting time were ordered using accepted guidelines. The judge further ordered that all three parents take co-parenting classes to work towards repairing their acrimonious relationship.
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