More than likely, your wedding celebration cost you or your parents thousands of dollars. Truth be told, divorce can become even more expensive. It’s not always your choice. However, conflict comes with a price tag – one that isn’t just about dollars and cents.
Without question, lots of cliché expressions come into play when considering divorce. With the honeymoon over, it’s time to move on to the next stage of your life. Often, emotions dictate the approach you decide to take in making critical determinations.
If you’re angry or hurt, you may elect to go after your former spouse with a vengeance. No doubt this often holds true if you’re the victim of infidelity or domestic violence. Candidly, you wouldn’t be alone if you’re seeking punishment for any perceived misdeeds against you.
Meanwhile, either of these types of scenarios represents the first lesson you need to know about New Jersey divorce laws. While your divorce can be fault-based or not, nothing changes the bottom line. Essentially, it’s a bit of a formula process mixed in with a great deal of negotiation.
Take this as a perfect example. If your husband or wife cheated on you, it doesn’t change their entitlement to equitable distribution. And, yes, that could include their share of the retirement benefits you worked so hard to secure.
When it comes to meeting with an experienced divorce attorney, you should ask plenty of questions. If you’re planning to dig your heels in as far as a particular issue, find out what it will cost to win your battle. And, don’t forget the ultimate price you could pay if you’re involved in a high-conflict divorce.
When a High-Conflict Divorce Seems Unavoidable
You’ve likely heard the analogy made more than once. A couple of people decide to start a business partnership. For whatever reason, things don’t work out as planned. As far as both parties are concerned, it’s time to rip on the partnership agreement and move on.
Like it or not, marriage is a contractual arrangement of sorts. If you aren’t bound by a prenuptial agreement, you’ll need to negotiate the terms of your divorce. Meanwhile, the court gives final approval – especially when it comes to matters involving custody, parenting time, and support.
You could have the best of intentions and understand the role of compromise. However, you aren’t the only party to a divorce. In fact, the same challenges that existed in your marriage may exacerbate your attempts to end things expeditiously.
Infidelity and domestic violence aren’t the only indicators in high-conflict divorces. Some personality types appear to derive pleasure in creating discord. You may already know this if you’re married to a narcissist or a sociopath. Additionally, people who suffer from substance abuse issues or bipolar disorder can make a difficult situation worse.
If you’re not complicit in the conflict, you may feel helpless and frustrated. In many cases, you’ll feel dragged into heated confrontations.
High-conflict divorces don’t just boil down to the division of property or even support allocations. Many times, a controlling spouse will intentionally engage you in a custody battle just to “win” your child’s affections.
You Can Be Part of the Solution
All things considered, you may be the one who sees no purpose in negotiation. You want your own way and none other. As far as you’re concerned, you can well afford attorneys’ fees and will put in a bitter fight to the end.
Really? Your lawyer may agree to take you through the litigation process. You have every right to debate each and every issue and get your day(s) in court. However, there’s something you need to know.
When you engage in a settlement process, you contribute to the outcome. Often, it becomes a matter of give and take.
Consider the other scenario. Some family law attorneys find no problem in bringing issues to the attention of the court. However, this goes back to the price you could pay if you choose this route.
In the first place, it’s not just that you’ll rack up attorneys’ fees. The emotional duress on you and your family is costly as well. You’re taking a gamble that you could have avoided.
How’s that? The court decides cases based on the law and evidence submitted. Quite frankly, the judge doesn’t have a vested or emotional interest in what ultimately becomes your fate. If you want all that to come into play, you’ll need an attorney who can help you negotiate what works best for all involved.
At the Law Offices of Sam Stoia, we know that high-conflict divorce causes great concern. The emotional cost may well be as high as the financial risk. We advocate for a commonsense approach to divorce. Call our office to learn more.